Here's a picture of a public toilet in Switzerland.

Now that you have seen the outside view of the Toilet, Just spend some more time scrolling down to see how it looks from inside ..!!

That's made entirely out of one-way glass. No one can see you in there, but when you are inside, it looks like you're sitting in a clear glass box. Would you still use it?!?!!!!!....

A love story

They were together in the House.



Just the two of them. It was a cold, dark, stormy night. The storm had come quickly


and each time the thunder boomed he watched her jump. She looked across the room and admired his strong appearance...and wished that he would take her in his arms, comfort her and protect her from the storm.



She wanted that...more than anything .



Suddenly, with a pop, the power went out... She screamed... He raced to the sofa where she was cowering. He didn't hesitate to pull her into his arms. He knew this was a forbidden union and expected her to pull back. He was surprised when she didn't resist but instead clung to him. The storm raged on...as did their growing passion.



And there came a moment when each knew that they had to be together.



They knew it was wrong...



Their families would never understand... So consumed were they in their passion that they heard no opening of doors...just the faint click of a camera......

HIGHEST SELLING PEN STAND IN IRAQ

Cathedral row over computer game

Sony Playstation's 'Resistance: Fall of Man' uses the interior of the cathedral's nave without permission.
The game, which has sold more than one million copies, shows a virtual shoot-out in the cathedral's nave in which hundreds of soldiers are killed.
A Sony spokesman said that permission had been sought where necessary.
However, the Church said Sony did not ask for permission to use the cathedral and it has demanded an apology and the removal of the game from shop shelves - otherwise legal action will be considered.
Sony has not returned calls from Church officials.
'Beyond belief'

The Bishop of Manchester, the Rt Revd Nigel McCulloch, has described the decision to feature the city's cathedral as "highly irresponsible" - especially in the light of Manchester's history of gun crime.
"It is well known that Manchester has a gun crime problem," he said.
"For a global manufacturer to re-create one of our great cathedrals with photo-realistic quality and then encourage people to have guns battles in the building is beyond belief and highly irresponsible.




"Here in Manchester we do all we can to support communities through our parish clergy. We know the reality of gun crime and the devastating effects it can have on lives. It is not a trivial matter."

The Dean of Manchester Cathedral, The Very Revd Rogers Govender, also hit out at Sony's decision to feature the cathedral, claiming it was "undermining" the work of the church.
"We are shocked to see a place of learning, prayer and heritage being presented to the youth market as a location where guns can be fired.
"This is an important issue. For many young people these games offer a different sort of reality and seeing guns in Manchester Cathedral is not the sort of connection we want to make.
"Every year we invite hundreds of teenagers to come and see the cathedral and it is a shame to have Sony undermining our work."
No-one from Sony was available for comment.
However, David Wilson, a Sony spokesman, told The Times newspaper: "It is game-created footage, it is not video or photography.
"It is entertainment, like Doctor Who or any other science fiction. It is not based on reality at all. Throughout the whole process we have sought permission where necessary."

courtesy www.bbc.co.uk

Spacewalk Complete, Debris Panels Installed

Two International Space Station cosmonauts successfully completed a 5-hour, 25-minute spacewalk from the Pirs docking compartment airlock Wednesday, installing Service Module Debris Protection (SMDP) panels and rerouting a Global Positioning System antenna cable.

During that spacewalk they also will install a section of an Ethernet cable on the Zarya module and a Russian experiment called Biorisk on Pirs. Yurchikhin, the lead spacewalker, EV1, and Kotov, EV2, wore Russian Orlan spacesuits. It was the first spacewalk for both. After leaving the Pirs airlock at 3:05 p.m. EDT, the spacewalkers moved to the Strela 2, one of the hand-operated cranes at the base of Pirs. They attached an extension to the Strela boom. With Kotov on the end of the extension, Yurchikhin extended the boom to a point over Pressurized Mating Adaptor 3 (PMA-3), on the Unity Node, a distance of about 60 feet.

Yurchikhin, with guidance from Kotov, maneuvered the Strela end effector to a grapple fixture on the SMDP Adaptor, a stowage rack. It is attached to PMA-3 and held three bundles of SMDP panels, a total of 17 of them. The assembly has been dubbed the "Christmas Tree."

Once the Christmas Tree was attached to Strela and released from PMA-3, Yurchikhin moved it and Kotov back to the small diameter of Zvezda. Yurchikhin joined Kotov there, and together they secured it to a grapple fixture on Zvezda. They then left the SMDP task and moved aft on Zvezda's large diameter. There they rerouted a cable for a Global Positioning System to be used with the European Automated Transfer Vehicle (ATV). The ATV is an unpiloted cargo carrier with almost twice the capacity of the Progress cargo craft. It is scheduled to make its first launch later this year. That done, they moved back to the Christmas Tree on the forward end of Zvezda, where they removed and opened one of the three bundles of debris panels. That bundle, No. 4, held five panels. The aluminum panels vary in size but are about an inch thick. They typically measure about 2 by 3 feet and weigh 15 to 20 pounds. Yurchikhin and Kotov installed the five panels on Zvezda's conical section, the area between Zvezda's large and small diameters. Six SMDPs from bundle No. 1 were installed during an Aug. 16, 2002, spacewalk by Expedition 5 Commander Valery Korzun and Flight Engineer Peggy Whitson. Those SMDPs were delivered to the station by Endeavour during STS-111 in June 2002. The remaining three bundles and their adaptor were delivered by Discovery during STS-116 last December and attached to PMA-3 by spacewalkers Bob Curbeam and Sunita Williams. Williams was intravehicular officer for Wednesday's spacewalk, advising and keeping the spacewalkers on schedule. After the installation task, the spacewalkers moved back to Pirs and into the airlock. Hatch closure marking the end of the spacewalk was at 8:30 p.m.

courtesy www.nasa.gov

Atlantis Space Station Bound!

Cheers and shouts can be heard throughout the Kennedy Space Center as Atlantis roars off the launch pad into a clear blue Florida sky!

EDTNASA senior managers expressed their pride in Space Shuttle Atlantis' successful liftoff. The launch was flawless and Atlantis is safely in orbit. "The team really performed well," said Rex Geveden, NASA associate administrator. "And it's a really good day for NASA and for this nation's Space Program." Bill Gerstenmaier, associate administrator for Space Operations stated that the launch of STS-117 is the first step of a challenging mission and although there are many challenges ahead, this was a great start to the launch year. After the culmination of many months of hard work from the damaging hail storm that struck Kennedy Space Center late in February, "The external tank has performed in a magnificent manner," said Shuttle Program Manager Wayne Hale. The preliminary reports from the cameras that took images of the external tank during liftoff showed no foam loss prior to solid rocket booster separation. "This bodes well for the future as we look forward to the completion of the space station," Hale said. Mission Management Team chairman Leroy Cain and NASA launch director Mike Leinbach expressed their gratitude to the entire NASA and contractor team that prepared the space shuttle for launch. "It was a beautiful night for a launch," said Leinbach. "I'm just very proud to be part of this team." Mission and CrewMission STS-117 is the Space Shuttle Program's 21st mission to the International Space Station. Rick Sturckow will command the mission and Lee Archambault will serve as Atlantis' pilot. Mission Specialists Patrick Forrester, James Reilly, Steven Swanson, John Olivas and Flight Engineer Clayton Anderson round out the crew to deliver the S3/S4 starboard truss segments, batteries and another pair of solar arrays to the space station. Anderson will replace Expedition 15 Flight Engineer Sunita Williams on station and Williams will return to Earth aboard Atlantis.

courtesy....www.nasa.gov

JAY HIND

MERA BHARAT MAHAAN.......

Bengali
One Bengali = poet.
Two Bengalis = a film society.
Three Bengalis = political party.
Four Bengalis = two political parties.
More than four Bengali's = Countrywide agitation to bring Ganguli into Team .

Bihari
One Bihari = Laloo Prasad Yadav.
Two Biharis = booth-capturing squad.
Three Biharis = caste killing.
Four Biharis = entire literate population of Patna .

Punjabi
One Punjabi =100 kg hulk named Pinky.
Two Punjabis = Pinky with his bigger brother Twinky.
Three Punjabis = assault on the McAloo Tikkis at the local McDonalds.
Four Punjabis = combined IQ equal to one.

Mallu
One Mallu = coconut stall.
Two Mallus = a boat race.
Three Mallus = Gulf job racket.
Four Mallus = oil slick.

UP Bhaiyya
One UP bhaiyya = a milkman.
Two UP bhaiyyas = halwai shop.
Three UP bhaiyyas = a fist-fight in the UP assembly.
Four UP bhaiyyas = mosque-destruction squad.

Gujju
One Gujju = share-broker in a Bombay train.
Two Gujjus = rummy game in a Bombay train.
Three Gujjus = Bombay 's noisiest restaurant.
Four Gujjus = stock market scam.

Andhraite
One Andhraite = chili farmer.
Two Andhraites = software company in New Jersey .
Three Andhraites = Naxalite outfit.
Four Andhraites = song-and-dance number in a Telugu movie.

Kashmiri
One Kashmiri = carpet salesman.
Two Kashmiris = carpet factory.
Three Kashmiris = terrorist outfit.
Four Kashmiris = shoot-at-sight order.

Tamil-Brahmin
One Tam-Brahm = priest at the Vardarajaperumal temple.
Two Tam-Brahms = Maths tuition class.
Three Tam-Brahms = Queue outside the U.S consulate at 4 a.m.
Four Tam-Brahms = Thyagaraja music festival in Santa Clara .

Mumbaikar
One Mumbaikar = footpath vada-pav stall.
Two Mumbaikars = film studio.
Three Mumbaikars = slum.
Four Mumbaikars = The number of people standing on your foot in the train at rush hour.

Sindhi
One Sindhi = currency racket.
Two Sindhis = papad factory.
Three Sindhis = duplicate goods shop in Ulhasnagar .
Four Sindhis = Hong Kong Retail Traders Association.

Marwari
One Marwari = The neighbourhood foodstuffs adulterator.
Two Marwaris = 50% of Calcutta .
Three Marwaris = Finish off all Gujaratis & Sindhis.
Four Marwaris = Threaten the Jews as a community.

Haryanvi
One Haryanavi = tube light
Two Haryanavi = agriculture
Three Haryannavi= Lathi squad
Four Haryanavi = actually just one was enough

regards

&

cheers

astad

HIDDEN FACTS FROM D TAJ MAHAL

BBC says about Taj Mahal---Hidden Truth - Never say it is a Tomb

No one has ever challenged it except Prof. P. N. Oak, who believes the whole world has been duped. In his book Taj Mahal: The True Story, Oak says theTaj Mahal is not Queen Mumtaz's tomb but an ancient Hindu temple palace of Lord Shiva (then known as Tejo Mahalaya ) . In the course of his research O ak discovered that the Shiva temple palace was usurped by Shah Jahan from then Maharaja of Jaipur, Jai Singh. In his own court ch ronicle, Badshahnama,Shah Jahan admits that an exceptionally beautiful grand mansion in Agra was taken from Jai SIngh for Mumtaz's burial . The ex-Maharaja of Jaipur stillretains in his secret collection two orders from Shah Jahan for surrendering the Taj building. Using captured temples and mansions, as a burial place fordead courtiers and royalty was a common practice among Muslim rulers. For example, Humayun,Akbar, Etmud-ud-Daula and Safdarjung are all buried in such mansions. Oak's inquiries began with the name of Taj Mahal. He says the term " Mahal " has never been used for a building in any Muslim countries from Afghanisthan to Algeria . "The unusual explanation that the term TajMahal derives from Mumtaz Mahal was illogical in atleast two respects. Firstly, her name was never Mumtaz Mahal but Mumtaz-ul-Zamani ," he writes. Secondly, one cannot omit the first three letters 'Mum' from a woman's name to derive the remainder as the name for the building."Taj Mahal, he claims, is a corrupt version of Tejo Mahalaya, or Lord Shiva's Palace . Oak also says the love story of Mumtaz and Shah Jahan is a fairy tale cre ated bycourt sycophants, blundering historians and sloppy archaeologists Not a single royal chronicle of Shah Jahan's time corroborates the love story. Furthermore, Oak cites several documents suggesting the Taj Mahal predates Shah Jahan's era, and was a temple dedicated to Shiva, worshipped by Rajputs of Agra city. For example, Prof. Marvin Miller of New York took a fewsamples from the riverside doorway of the Taj. Carbon dating tests revealed that the door was 300 years older than Shah Jahan. European traveler Johan Albert Mandelslo,who visited Agra in 1638 (only seven years after Mumtaz's death), describes the life of the cit y in his memoirs. But he makes no reference to the Taj Mahal being built. The writings of Peter Mundy, an English visitor to Agra within a year of Mumtaz's death, also suggest the Taj was a noteworthy building well before Shah Jahan's time. Prof. Oak points out a number of design and architectural inconsistencies that support the belief of the Taj Mahal being a typical Hindu templeratherthan a mausoleum. Many rooms in the Taj ! Mahal have remained sealed since Shah Jahan's time and are still inaccessible to the public . Oak asserts they contain a headless statue of Lord Shiva and other objects commonly used for worship rituals in Hindu temples Fearing political backlash, Indira Gandhi's government t ried to have Prof. Oak's book withdrawn from the bookstores, and threatened the Indian publisher of the first edition dire consequences . There is only one way to discredit orvalidate Oak's research. The current government should open the sealed rooms of the Taj Ma hal under U.N. supervision, and let international experts investigate. Do circulate this to all you know and let them know about this reality..... *************************************************************************** Regards..... Have a Nice Day....... :-)

astad

LAGE RAHO VIGYAN KE ABHYAN MEIN......1 OF MA BEST WRITTEN SCRIPTS

NARRATORS: MUNNA BHAI AND CIRCUIT

NARRATION:-

MUNNABHAI: KYAA RE CIRCUIT AAJ KAL APUN BAHUT BORE HO RAYLA HAI……VO APNA MAMU…..KAUN RE VO….HIRANI MAMU……USKO FONE TO LAGA…….POOCH……..KOI NAYA FILIM VILIM HAI KYAA…??

CIRCUIT: BHAI TU TENSION KYON LETA HAI…MAIN HAI NAA…RUK….
(OVA DA FONE)……HELLO MAMU…….HIRANI…….KYAA RE TERE KO BAHUT MASTI AAYE HAI KYAA…….BHAI IDHAR BORE HO RAHLE HAI
KUCH NAYA PICTURE KA SOCH HAI…….KEE APUN TERI HEE FILIM UTARE
…….HAAN…..HAAN…..HAAN THEEK HAI……..KITNA KHOKA DEGA
ARRE PETI KA JAMANA GAYA…….ABHEE BHAI HIT HO GAYLA HAI…TU BHEE TO SOLID KAMAYA NAA MAMU……..ACHAA VO SAB CHOD…..
FILM KA NAM KYAA SOCHELA HAI???????.....KYAA….THEK HAI
MAIN BHAI SE BAAT KARTA HOON……..FIR DEKHTE HAI….CHAL RAKHTA HOON………..TATA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MUNNA: ABE AE CIRCUIT……..POORI LOV STORY FONE PE HI KAHEGA...YAA…….KUCH MERE SAMNE BHEE BHAOKEGAA

CIRCUIT: BAHI TU TENSION KYON LETA HAI……VO MAMU NAYEE FILIM BANA RAHA HAI………NAAM HAI LAGE RAHO VIGYAN KE ABHYAN MEIN.

MUNNA: AILAA CIRCUIT YE KYAA NAAM HAI……..SALA APUN KO MBBS HAJAM NAHIN HUA……..TU FIRSE VIGYAN MAT SIKHA RE

CIRCUIT : ARRE BHAI…..TU POORI BAT SUNE BINA HEE GHODA DABA DETA HAI………PEHLE STORY TO SUN LE……..CHAL BHAI TUJE EK TRAILOR DIKHATA HOON………





(NEXT PAGE……..SCENE 1)







SCENE I: ANDHSHRADHA IN VILLAGE

RAMDHAR: (TO HIS FRIEND KESHU) ARRE KESHU….KA KAROON KUCH SAMAJ MAA NAHIN AAVA RAHA……..MUNNI KEE MAA…..PECHLAE 5 SAALON SE PUTR KO JANAM HI NAHIN DA PAA RAHI HAI……HAR SAAL LADKI HI HOTE HAI…….PATA NAHIN HAMRA VANSH AAGE KAISN BADHEGA……..PARESHAN HO GAYA HOON 4 BETIYON KA BOJ SAMBHALTE HUEEEE

KESHU: AREE RAMDHARVA…….TU KAHE CHINTA KAR RAHA HAI
PADOS KE GAON CHAMPARAN MEIN BADE HEE MAHAN BABA..
BABA CHAMAN BANGALEE…….AASAN LAGA KE BAITHE HAIN
TU EK KAAM KAR UNKE PAAS JAA……..VO TERI SAMASYA KAA SAMADHAN ZAROOR KARENGE.

RAMDHAR: PAR YE BABA MERI SAMASYA KA HAL TO NIKALENGE NAA

KESHU: TU HAL KE BAAT KARTA HAI…….BABA KE AASHIRVAD MEIN ITNI TAKAT HAI KII…….DIN MEIN CHAND AUR RAAT MEIN SURAJ UGVA DE
SAMJA…….TU KAHE TO MAIN TERE SATH AATA HOON……PAGLA

RAMDHAR: THEEK HAI AUR KOI RASTA BHEE TO NAHIN HAI.

(AT BABA’S PLACE)

(SHOW SOME PEOPLE…….GOIN MAD…….IN DHYAAN…WAITIN FOR BABA TO COME…….WEN BABA COMES ND HITS BROOM ON THEIR HEAD THEY GET ALRITE……….)

BABA’S CHAMCHA 1: ARRE ALA RE BABA ALLA…….. ALA RE BABA ALLA
KARNE SABKI ZINGAGI MEIN UJALA……. ALA RE BABA ALLA

BABA’S CHAMCHA 2: BOLO BABA BANGALEE KEE JAI…..KEE JAI…KI JAI

(BABA SITS ON HIS AASAN……….)

BABA (TO CHAMCHA 1): BACHA PELE BHAKT KO ANDAR BHEJO

BHAKT 1: BABA…….MERA HAATH DEKH KE BATAO MERA KYAA HOGA

BABA: BACHAA……..BAAT FUTURE KEE HAI ISLIYE …..DIL SE SOLUTION DETA HOON………1000 RUPYA HAI…….BAHAR DESH JAA KE JAAP KARONGA…….TERI KISMAT CHAMAK JAYEGII BACHAA

BHAKT 1: NAHIN………..

BABA: PAANCH SAU

BHAKT 1: NAHIN

BABA: SAU

BHAKT 1: NAHIN

BABA: SAU BHEE NAHIN…….KITNA HAI……..

BHAKT 1: SAVA 12 RUPYA……..DOOON……..

BABA: JAO……..JAO……TUMHARA TO BHAGWAN BHEE KUCH NAHIN KAR SAKTAA…….AMMMMMMMHHHHHH……..ALAKH NIRANJAN…..BACHA DOOSRE BHAKT KO BHEJO

KESHU: BABA BANGALEE KEEEEE……..JAIIII (TOUCHES HIS FEET)….ARRE RAMDHAR PAU CHUU BABA KE…… (RAMDHAR ALSO TOUCHES HIS FEET)
BABA YE MERA DOST HAI …….ISKO EK TAKLIF HAI

BABA: BOL BACHA……..TUJE KYA CHINTA HAI…….BABA USKA SAMADHAN KAREGA……PUTR PRAPTEE…….PREM VIVAH……VASHEKARAN………BOL BACHA BO TUJE KYAA CHAHIYE

RAMDHAR: BABA MERI BIWI KO PUTR KA SAUBHAGYA KAB NASEEB HOGA BATA DIJIYE NAA……CHAR BETIYON KAA BOJ DHOTE DHOTE THAK GAYA HOON……..MERA VANSH AAGE KAISE BADHEGA…….

BABA: DAR MAT BACHA…….MUJHE SAB DIKHAI DE RAHA HAI…..TERA BHAGYA BADALNE WALA HAI……VO AA RAHA HAI……..TERI KISMAT BADALNE VALA SITARA AA RAHA HAI…………….PAR

RAMDHAR: PAR KYAA BABA……….???????????

BABA: EK ADCHAN HAI………!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RAMDHAR: KAISI ADCHAN………BABA………..??????????????

BABA: BACHA TUMHARA RAHU TUMHARE KETU KE SIR PE BAITH KE….TUMHARE SHANI KE SAATH MILKE……BAHUT BADA TAANDAV KAR RAHA HAI………

RAMDHAR: BABA………ISKA KOI UPAAY………??????????????

BABA: MAHAYAGNA………MAHAYAGNYA………AUR KYAA

RAMDHAR: THEEK HAI BABA…….KARIYE MAHAYAGYNA

BABA: ALAKH NIRANJAN…….BACHA…….2000 RUPYA DE……POOJA KE LIYE……….ALAKH NIRANJAN

RAMDHAR: THEEK HAI BABA………BABA BANGALEE KEE JAI…THEEK HAI BABA TO MAIN JAATA HOON…….(CHAMCHA STOPS HIM….)

CHAMCHA 1: KAHAN CHAL DIYE…….FOKAT MEIN HEE DARSHAN BHEE KAR LIYE…….POOJA KE PAISE TO DETE JAO………

RAMDHAR: YE LO…… (GIVES HIM THE MONEY)…..MERA KAAM TO HO JAYEGA NAAA………..???????????????

CHAMCA 1: TUM FIKR MAT KARO……..GHAR JOU AOR CHADAR KHENC KE SO JAO………BABA SAB DEKH LENGE……..ALAKH NIRANJAN…!!!!!!!

(AFTER HE GOES……….)

CHAMCHA 2: BABA…….BAHUT PAISE JAMA HO GAYE……AB SUUM MEIN YAHAN SE NIKAL LETE HAIN…….AUR KISI DOOSRE GAON MEIN JAKE KISI AUR BHOLE KO LUTE HAIN………..

BABA: SAHEEE BOLA BACHAA……JAB MILE CHANDAN…….DIL HOVE GARDEN….GARDEN………………….ALAKH NIRANJAN……..!!!!!!

NARRATION:

MUNNA: AIALA…….CIRCUIT……KAISA MAMU BANAYA UN LOGON KO….HAHAHAH

CIRCUIT: AILA BHAI TU HAS RAHA HAI……..BHUL GAYA BAPU NE KYAA SIKHAYA THAA…….KISI KE DUKH KE PEECHE HASNA BUREE BAAT HAI
BHAI ABHEE APUN SUDHAR GAYE…….GANGHIVADI HO GAYE

ABHEE AAGE DEKHO……..





(NEXT PAGE: SCENE 2)

SCENE 2: CLASS ROOM SCENE

(THIS IS A CLASSROOM SCENE……IT’S A SCIENCE PERIOD…….SUMIT, VINAY, JEEVAN, AND CHITRA…..ARE FOUR STUDENTS WHO HATE SCIENCE AND THE SCIENCE TEACHER…….THEY ARE THE TROUBLE CAUSERS…IN THE CLASS……..WHEN THEN PERIOD IS ON……LETS SEE WAT THEY DO TODAY....TEACHER HAS NOT YET ARRIVED….IT IS THE FIRST PERIOD)

SUMIT: ARRE VO SCIENCE KA SIR FISE AAKE PAKAEGAA

VINAY: KAUN VO FATSO…….VO TO HAI HE PAKAU…..CHOD NAA

JEEVAN: WELL PEOPLE IT IS NOT HIS FAULT……..SCIENCE SUBJECT HI AISA HAI…..KAL YE CHITRA BHE SCIENCE TEACHER BANGAYEE…….TO STUDENTS ISE BHEE NAHIN CHODENGEEEEE

CHITRA: OH PALEZZZZZZZZZZZZZ……..MAIN KUCH BHEE BAN JAONN SCIENCE TEACHER KABHEE NAHIN BANUNGEE

VINAY: CHALO……BAITH JAO……FATSO KE AANE KA WAQT HO GAYA

JEEVAN: NAHIN BAITHEGAA…….KYAA KAREGA VO

SUMIT: YA MAN HE CANNOT DO ANY THING…….FATU SIR

CHITRA: AE AE BAITH JAO AA GAYA…….

(SIR COMES IN…………)

SIR: GOOD MORNING STUDENTS…..!!!!!!!!

STUDENTS: (YONINGLEEE….) GUD GUD MORINING SIR

SIR: WAT IS THIS GOING ON……MY NAME IS NAIR……RAVI NAIR

JEEVAN: O JAMES BOND…….

SIR: STAND UP MR.JEEVAN….WAT DID U SAY………..

JEEVAN: NOTHING RELEVANT SIR

SIR: OK THEN GET OUT OF THE CLASS

JEEVAN: BUT WHY SIR……….??????????

SIR: SOMETHING RELEVANT JEEVAN

JEEVAN: WELL SIR IF YOU INSIST……..THANK U

SIR: HMMMMM…….MORON

SIR: OK NOW I WILL TAKE UR ATTENDENCE…..PAY ATTENTION PLEASE

SIR: ROLL.NO. 1

STUDENT: PRESENT

(THIS ATTENDENCE GOES ON STEADILY TILL ROLL NO 10)

SIR: ROLL NO 11

VINAY: PHYSICALLY PRESENT …….METALLY ABSENT

SIR: I LL SEE U LATER

SIR: ROLL NO 12

CHITRA: NO MORE SIR

SIR: WAT RUBBISH…….IS GOIN ON IN THE CLASS THESE DAYS……VINAY, JEEVAN, SUMIT, AND CHITRA……..I AM NOTICING THIS FROM A LONG TIME……U PEOPLE DO NOT CONCENTRATE IN YOUR STUDIES……GET IN TO TROUBLE IN CLASS……I WONT TOLERATE THIS ANY FURTHER……NEXT TIME U PEOPLE GET CAUGHT…….I LL DIRECTLY TAKE U TO THE PRINCIPAL….AND SHE WOUD SEE TO IT THAT U PEOPLE GET THE WORST OF PUNSIHMENT……….

CHITRA: OK SIR……..U WANT ME TO COME NOW……I LL COME…..LETS GO

SUMIT: YES SIR…..LETS GO NAA

SIR: LET ME COMPLETE MY CLASS

VINAY: …..WAT HAPND SIR……FAT GAYEEE

ALL IN CHORUS: WE HATE SCIENCE…..WE HATE U…..HAHAHAHAHA

SIR: BUT WHY DO U HATE ME…..WAT HAVE I DON’T TO U

SUMIT: SIR ITS NOT YOUR FAULT….SCIENCE SUBJECT HI AISA HAI
SIR: BUT THERE MUST BE SOME REASON……KUCH TO VAHAH HOGEE...SCIENCE ITNA INTRESTING SUBJECT HAI….AAJ DUNIYA SCIENCE KE PEECHE DAUD RAHEE HAI…….THERE IS SO MUCH DEVELOPMENT N THE WORLD BECAUSE OF SCIENCE……….

VINAY: VAJAH HAI SIR…..MANA KI SCIENCE EK BAHUT HI INTRESTING SUBJECT HAI….LEKIN KYAA HAME VAHEE SCIENCE SIKHAYA JATA HAI JO LATEST HAI………I DON’T THINK SO…….HAMKO TO VAHEE REPETED SIKHAYA JAATA HAI…..WE ARE FED UP SIR

CHITRA: VINAY IS RIGHT SIR……MANA KE SCIENCE NE BAHUT TARAKEE KAR LEE HAI……BUT IS IT USED IN A PROPER MANNER………

SUMIT: HAAN SIR…….TECHNOLOGY SE JYADDA TO LOG PAISA SCIENTIFIC WEAPONS BANANE MEIN KHARCH KAR DETE HAI……AUR NAAM DETE HAI SCIENCE KAA

JEEVAN: (COMES IN CLASS)…….ITNA HI NAHIN SCIENCE KA ASLI RANG TO SSC KE BAAD PATA CHALTA HAI………JAB ADMISSION MEIN LAKHO RUPYA…….DONATION DENA PADTA HAI……

VINAY: SIR……AGAR YAHEE SCIENCE HAI….TO NAHI CHAHIYE AISA SCIENCE…….JO INSAN SE USKI INSANIYAT HII CHEEN LAE

(END OF SCENE……..SIR HAS NO ANSWER TO THE STUDENTS’ QUESTIONS
SO HE JUST SITS IN THE CLASS WITH HANDS OVER HIS HEAD……)

NARRATION:

MUNNA: AILA CIRCUIT……DEKHA……VO MAMU SIR…..USKEE TO BOLTE HEE BAND HO GAYEE RE………SALA APUN KO VO ASTHANA JAISA DIHK RAYLA HAI RE……..

CIRCUIT: BHAI AAPKO BAAR BAAR BATANA PADEGA…..ABHEE APUN SUDHAR GAYE……….YA BAPU KO BULAU

MUNNA: AEA SHANKESHWAR……..U MERE KO DARA RAHA HAI KYAA

CIRCUIT: BHAI….. SHANKESHWAR NAHIN……CIRCUIT……BOLO...AUR APUN TUMKO DARA NAHIN RAHA HAI…….SIR BATA RAHA HAI

MUNAA: THEEK HAI……PAR ISME GALTEE KISKI HAI…..SIR KI YAA BACHOO KEEEE…….AUR SUN POORI FILM MEIN APUN KA ROLE KAB AAYEGA RE…….

CIRCUIT: BHAI TU TENSION MAT LE………AAGE DEKH

(NEXT PAGE: SCENE 3)
SCENE 3: CHEMICAL INDUSTRIES IN VILLAGES

(THIS IS A VILAGE SCENE……A VILLAGE WHERE ALL CHEMICAL INDUSTRIES ARE SET UP…..ALL THE HEAVY CHEMICAL WASTE IS LEFT IN TO THE NEARBY WATER RESOURCES LIKE LAKES, PONDS. ETC……..CAUSING POLLUTION THEREBY…..BUT THE VILLAGERS ARE UNKNOWN OF THIS DANGER AS THE INDUSRTY OWNERS HAVE SEALED THEIR MOUTHS WITH MONEY…….THEY TAKE AS RENT FOR SETTING UP INDUSTRIES IN VILLAGES…….WELL THIS SCENE SHOWS A PERSON WASHING CATTLE, 2 LADIES……..1 WASHING UTENSILS AND OTHER WASHING CLOTHES…….OVER THERE SOME CHILDREN ALONG WITH RAM COME TO PLAY CRICKET……LETS SEE WAT HAPPENS THERE….)

RAM: AE SUJIT, CHANDAN, LAKHA, BHUVAN……CHALO MAIDAN MAIN AAVA……KIRKET…KHELENGE

ALL IN CHORUS: RAM……..BALLA AUR GEND LAYA HAI…..TO CHALU KAR
HUM LOG AVAT RAHEEEEE

RAM: JALDEE AVAA

(AFTER A WHILE THEY FIGHT FOR BATTING AS CHILDERN NORMALLY DO…NOW ITS DECIDED……..SUJIT IS BATTING….CHANDAN IS BOWLING….AND RAM AND BHUVAN ARE FIELDERS….…BATSMAN HITS THE SHOT….IT GOES IN TO THE BAUDI….RAM BEING THE FIELDER IS TOLD TO BRING THE BALL…..HE GOES IN TO THE BAUDI…….FINDS THE BALL AND THROWS IT TO BHUVAN……THEN HE DECIDES TO HAVE SOME WATER…….HE DOESN’T KNOW THAT THIS WATER IS POLLUTED…….IN HIS INNOCENCE HE DRINKS IT…FEW MINUTES AFTER HE COMES OUT….HE GETS A HEAVY HEADACHE…..AND FAINTS……HIS FRNDS BRING HIM TO HIS PARENTS……THIS IS THE SCENE AT HIS HOME……………………)

PHULVA: (RAM’S MOTHER) ARRE O RAM KE BAPU….KAHAN GAYE…..DEKHO TO RAM KO KA HUA HAI…..

GAJODHAR: (RAM’S FATHER---DRUNK)…….AREEE MUEE KAHE ITNA CHLLA RAHE HAI…..SHANTI SE PEEENE BHEE NAHIN DETEE…HAT..

PHULVA: ARRE KAISE BAAP HO TUM…..DEHKO TO SAHEE BETE KO KA HUA HAI…….BAITHE VO VAHEEN…..BOTAL LEKE

GAJODHAR: ARRE KA MUSIBAT HAI….BOL KA HUA…..APNA RAMU BHEE DARU PEENE LAGA KA….KE BEHOSH HO GAYA

PHULVA: BHAGWAN KE LIYE…..AISE BAT TO MAT KARO….AGAR KISI KA BHALA NAHIN KAR SAKTE TO KISI KA BURA BHEE MAT KARO…CHALO AB ISE DAKTAR BABU KE PAAS LE JAANA HOGA

GAJODHAR: KAUNAO JARURAT NAHIN DAKTAR KE PAAS LE JANE KEE…BAHUT PAISA LEGA VO………MERI DAARU KAHAN SE AAYEGII

PHULVA: DEKHO…….MUJE MAAF KARO……PAR MUJE ISE DAKTAR KE PAAS LE JAANE DO…….MAIN TUMSE BHEEK MANGTI HOON

GAJODHAR: HADDDD…..KUTIYA….DARU PIYE BINA RAAT KO NEEND KAISE AAYEGI……..HAT MAIN DARU LENE JAA RAHA HOON…HAT

PHULVA: MAIN TUMHE NAHIN JAANE DOONGI………

GAJODHAR: (ENACT THIS: WHEN SHE STOPS HIM….HE SLAPS HER AND GOES AWAY……END OF SCENE…….)

NARRATION: (EMOTIONAL ENDING)

MUNNA :( WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES) DEKHA TUNE CIRCUIT…..YE SAB KYAA HO RAHA HAI……….

CIRCUIT: BHAI TU RO RAHA HAI BHAI…..RO MAT BHAI….RO MAT

MUNNA: LOG SAMAJTE HAI KE MAIN BHAI HOON…PAR BHAI KE PAAS BHEE DIL HOTA HAI…JAB KOI MAA ROTEE HAI TO MUJE BAHUT BURA LAG RAHA HAI……..

CIRCUIT: BHAI TU POOCH RAHA HAI NA TERA IS FILM MEIN KYAA ROLE HAI…….MAIN BOLTA HOON TERA KYAA ROLE HAI…….YE SAB JO TUNE DEKHA NA BHAI…….SAB VIGYAN KE CHAMATKAR HAI.
PEHLE SCENE MEIN HAMNE DEKHA……VO ANDHSHRADHA…AAPNE DEKHA NAA…..KIS TARAH US BHALE MANAS KO US BABA NE LUTA…..AAJ SCIENCE NE ITNE TARAKEE KAR DEE HAI………KE EK OPERATION SE SAB THEEK HO JAATA HAI AUR AISE BABA LOG KI KOI ZAROORAT HI NAHIN…..PAR KYAA KARE NAA GAREEB LOG HAI ITNA PAISA KAHAN SE LAYE NAA….HAAN AGAR…..YE OPERATION KA BHAV THODA KAM HO JATA HAI TO IN LOGON KA BHALA HO SAKTA HAI…..AILA BHAI TU BHEE TO DOCTOR HAI………BHUL GAYA KYAA….TU HI KYON NAHIN YE BHALA KAAM SHURU KAR DETA……..BHAI TERE KO GARIBON KI DUA LAGEGI….AUR BHAI BAPU BHEE BAHUT KHUSH HOONGE

MUNNA: SAHEE BOLA CIRCUIT…….LEKIN VO STUDENT LOG

CIRCUIT: AREE VO MAMU LOG KA ROJ KA NATAK HOTA HAI….PAR BHAI VO LOG KA BHEE KOI GALTEE NAHIN NAA….HAR SAAL VAHEE PADHATE HAI…..BHAI….KOI BHEE BORE HO JAYEGA……BHAI TU BHUL GAYA KYAA TU BHEE TO PEHLI BAAR LECTURE MEIN BAITH KE BORE HO GAYLA THAA
APUN AISA NAHIN KARNA CHAHIYE……AUR BHAI AAJ KAL JAGAH JAHAH BOMB BLAST HOTA HAI…….USKA JIMMEDAR KAUN HAI….SCIENCE….LEKIN SCIENCE KI VAJAH SE HI TO GHAYAL HUA LOGON KI JAAN BACHTEE HAI NAA……..ISLIYE……SCIENCE KO AGAR SAHEE TARAH SE ISTAMAL KARO TO…….APNA UDAHAR HOGA NAHIN TO HUM SAB SUKHE HO JAYANGAE…….AUR VO DONATION……YE BAAT BHEE SACH HAI…….AAJ KAL SHIKSHA KE MANDIR NOTE BOOK SE SIKHANE KI JAGAH…….NOTE CHAPNE MEIN VISHWAS RAKHTE HAI….VIGYAN KO DHANDHA BANA DIYA HAI IN LOGON NE……..AISA NAHIN HONA CHAIYE BHAI……AAP BOLO TO VO PAPPU PAGER KO BOLKE….VO LOGON KO THEK KARA DENGE…….AISE KAAM MEIN GANGHIGIRI SE ZYADDA BHAIGIRI HI CHALTEE HAI

MUNNA: NAHIN RE…….MAIN KHUD JAAONGA…..AAKHIR HERO TO APUN HI HAI NA………

CIRCUIT: YE HUE NA BHAILOGO VALEE BAAT……..

MUNNA: ARRE LEKIN VO AAKHRI KAHANI…..USKA KYAA KARNE KA CIRCUIT…….MUJE VO BAHUT GUSSA AA RAHA …..

CIRCUIT: BHAI TU THANDA RAKH……DEKH……VO GALTE US BAAP KI NAHIN HAI…….GALTE TO YE SAFED POSH LOGON KI HAI….JO SUNDAR GAON MEIN FACTORY LAGA KE GAON KO BARBAAD KAR DETE HAI….YE LOG FACTORY LAGATE HAI……AUR FIR SARA KACHRA…..CHOD DETE HAI PAANI MEIN…… ISLIYE TO RAM KI TABIYAT KHARAB HO GAYEE NAA….

MUNNA: AUR VO USKA BAAP………..

CIRCUIT: BHAI……PAISA MILEGA TO FHUDKE GA NAHIN KYAA

MUNNA: PAR CIRCUIT ISKA KUCH TOD NAHIN HAI KYAA

CIRCUIT: TOD HAI BHAI…..FACTORY LAGANA HAI TO GAON ME MAT LAGAO…..BHAI GAON MEIN INLOGON KI MUFT KAA PANI MILTA HAI AUR GAON VALON KO BEVAKOOF BANANA BHEE BAUHT AASAN HOTA HAI NAA…….YE GOAN WALO KO SAMJANA CHAHIYE…..KI THODE SE PAISO KI KHATIR….KISI KO BHEE APNE JAMIN NAHIN BECHNI CHAHIYE…ISISE GAON MEIN PRADHSHAN KAM HOGA…….

MUNNA: PAR CIRCUIT…..AGAR FACTORY RAHGE TO PRADUSHAN TO HOGA HI NAA…….GAON MEIN NAHIN TO SHEHR MEN
CIRCUIT: BHAI AISA HAI TO YE FACTORY WALO KO ACHEE QUALITY KE RAWMATERIALS VAPARNE CHAHIYE…..ISSSE SABKA BHALA HOGA...SAMJA BHAI……

MUNNA: SAMAJ GAYA RE CIRCUIT…….VIGYAN KE JITNE FAYDE HAI UTNE NUKSAAN BHEE HAI……AGAR SEDHEE TARAH SE ISTAMAL KARO TO ASHIRWAD HAI…..AGAR TEDHEE TARAH SE ISTAMAL KARO TO SHRAP HAI…….HAN YAHEE MUNNA KA VIDHAN HAI…………..

MUNNA AND CIRCUIT (IN UNISON):

LAGAY RAHO VIGYAN KE ABHYAN MEIN

LAUGHTER......D BEST MEDICINE

1.SANTA'S MUSIC SYSTEM
Santa : Excuse me, what low quality system is this just 2 days and it doesn't work poperly.shopkeeper : Sorry sir, we will replace this one.
Shopkeeper notices something in santa singh's son's hand.
shopkeeper: What is that in your son's hand.son : That's a magnet did you know it attracts iron.father removed this magnet from the system and gave it to me to play.shopkeeper: Idiot, Santa look what have you done.Santa : Why are you shouting for this I have lot's of them at home.

2. SANTA N SEXPERE
Santa "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"Santa: "No, who wrote it?"

3. SARDAR IN TOILET
Once Santa Singh walking on the street finds a notice on a wall. The notice goes like this "PADNEWALA GADHA HAI". Santa Singh gets wild on reading this. He decides to do something about this. He thinks a lot and then changes the notice as "LIKHNEWALA GADHA HAI".

4. SANTAS CRIKET BET
Santa Singh saw that his friend Banta Singh was very depressed. "What happened ?" asked Santa. "Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and Pakistan was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet." " But that's only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?" " Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "

8. AT INDO-PAK WAR
Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called punjabishertha hideoutwas crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the Defence secrets. The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a Maachar dani! (mosquito net) HePulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The pakistanis run offquickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His freinds ask him "Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh replies "Maachardaani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi? In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gani Singh (No Assumptions Please!) joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the bushes erupts Gani Singh wearning nothing he tries do shoo away the pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him "aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu nungachale gaya" Gani Singh replies "aare yaar main tho Odomos lage ke gaya >>tha"!"

9.SARD IN EXAM:
Santa appeared for an English exam..After the exam...Banta : How was the question paper.Santa : Questions were easy but the answers were tough.Banta : Me too..Banta : Santa.. what did you answered the "noun" of "think" as.Santa : Hmm.. I thought, thought, thought and finally wrote "thunk".

10. SANTAS CROCODILE BOOTSsantaji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "76th and *again* barefeet!"


11. CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR
Santa was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air- india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as Santa got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested Santa to leave the side seat. But Santa told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave".The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested Santa to leave that seat. But Santa was adament and did not leave.Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of Santa, and the Santa immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told to Santa. Capt. replied: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh.

12. DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there". Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "


18. SANTA IN DESERT:
A santa, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The japanese took the radiator, the britisher took the seat, and the santa took the door.After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?" The japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid."Next the santa asked the britisher "Why did you bring the seat?" So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."Finally the japanese asked the santa why he had chosen the door.The santa quickly responded to this question, "Well, when I get hot all I have to do is roll down the window."

19. DUMB SANTA
santa was tired of being santa and constantly being the subject of all those dumb santa jokes. He finally cut his hair. Elated he decided to take a drive through the country to celebrate his new life. Going past a field of sheep (he loved sheep) he stopped and asked the farmer "If i can guess howmany sheep in your flock, can I have one?"The farmer laughed and said "Sure, Sir" he gazed out for a few seconds and said "There's 1,973 sheep" The farmer said with Amazement "Damn Your're right! Go and pick one out".On his way back to his car he was stopped by the farmer yelling "Hey Sir! If I can guess your real identity can I have my dog back?".
20. SANTA IN DESRTED ISLAND:A santa, a japanese, and a britisher were shipwrecked on a deserted island.One day they came upon an old lamp buried in the sand. As they >brushed the sand from the lamp a Genie appeared and said "I'll give each of you one wish."The japanese said "I wish I was at home!" PUFF and he was gone!The britisher said "I wish I was home!" PUFF and he too was gone.The santa said "Boy is it lonely here! I wish my friends were back!""

21. SANTA ON TREE:
Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going in a jungle, Suddenly they saw one tiger comming towards them. To save themselves they climbed a tree and both sat on one branch. The tiger came under the tree and sat down. Santa told Banta " Yaar just to pass Time Why don't you sing some song" Banta Singh started to sing. After singing four songs Banta hanged upside down on the branch and then again sung four songs. After singing all the songs he Banta came back to his original position. Santa asked curiosly "Yaar Bantya, You sung four songs sitting in upright position and next four songs you sat upside down, Why did you do that?" Banta told " Yaar First four songs were from side A and the other four were from Side B"

22. SARD IN PLANE:
Elizabeth Taylor once boarded a plane. Everybody around greeted her. Since the plane was crowded she had difficulty in finding a seat. She saw our Sardar Balwinder Singh who was sitting next to a vacant seat.She went up to him and introduced herself saying in her cool sexy voice, "Hi, I am Elizabeth Taylor... Liz to you." Balwinder was bewildered but immediately responded, "Hi I am Balwinder .. Balls to you."

23.Santa's ferrari
Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri.Banta: Wow Banta, ke gaddi hai (What a car)Kithon laiye (where did you get it from)Santa:Main highway te lift mung reha se ... Gori Mem aaee te meine kende "want a ride Mr. Singh" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anything"Banta is quite excited and asks "tu ke keeta Santa "Santa: Mian gaddi lai layee. (I took the car)Banta: Changa keeta kapde tenu fit bhi nahi aane se (good showyou wouldn't have fit into her clothes)

24.Santa Goes to heaven
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"

25. MRS. SANTA SINGH:
Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.

26. FOOLISH SANT JOKES:
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh." It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach
:Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?Sardarji 1 : Nahe pata.Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .

hey ppl to have more action..........wait 4 sum time

regards
astad