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1.SANTA'S MUSIC SYSTEM
Santa : Excuse me, what low quality system is this just 2 days and it doesn't work poperly.shopkeeper : Sorry sir, we will replace this one.
Shopkeeper notices something in santa singh's son's hand.
shopkeeper: What is that in your son's hand.son : That's a magnet did you know it attracts iron.father removed this magnet from the system and gave it to me to play.shopkeeper: Idiot, Santa look what have you done.Santa : Why are you shouting for this I have lot's of them at home.

2. SANTA N SEXPERE
Santa "Have you ever read Shakespeare?"Santa: "No, who wrote it?"

3. SARDAR IN TOILET
Once Santa Singh walking on the street finds a notice on a wall. The notice goes like this "PADNEWALA GADHA HAI". Santa Singh gets wild on reading this. He decides to do something about this. He thinks a lot and then changes the notice as "LIKHNEWALA GADHA HAI".

4. SANTAS CRIKET BET
Santa Singh saw that his friend Banta Singh was very depressed. "What happened ?" asked Santa. "Yaar, I lost Rs. 800 in a bet yesterday . " "How come ?" "Well, yesterday, the one-day match between India and Pakistan was being shown live on TV. I bet Rs.500 that India would win, but I lost the bet." " But that's only Rs. 500, where did the rest go ?" " Yaar, I bet on the highlights too "

8. AT INDO-PAK WAR
Once in the Indo Pakistan war, Pakistan was fighting fiercely and capturing everything in sight. A sikh camp called punjabishertha hideoutwas crucial to defend from the pakistanis as it contained all the Defence secrets. The pakistani forces surrounded the base and the sikhs had thought that they had lost the battle but, suddenly out of the bushes jumps Cptn. Hari Singh wearing a Maachar dani! (mosquito net) HePulls out his AK-47 rifle and fires like mad. The pakistanis run offquickly. The next day Hari Singh gets a medal. His freinds ask him "Yaar thu maachar daani kyon pehenke gaya tha?" Hari Singh replies "Maachardaani itni patli hote hain ki agar maachar nahin ghus sakte, goli kahan se ghussenghi? In the following war Hari Singh retires and his son Gani Singh (No Assumptions Please!) joins the army. Pakistanis are again surrounding the Gurudwara hideout, the sikhs again think they've lost the war but out of the bushes erupts Gani Singh wearning nothing he tries do shoo away the pakistanis like his father did but instead gets shot. In the hospital his friends tell him "aare yaar, therre bap me tho itni akal thi ki vo maachar daani pehin ke gaya tha, aur tu nungachale gaya" Gani Singh replies "aare yaar main tho Odomos lage ke gaya >>tha"!"

9.SARD IN EXAM:
Santa appeared for an English exam..After the exam...Banta : How was the question paper.Santa : Questions were easy but the answers were tough.Banta : Me too..Banta : Santa.. what did you answered the "noun" of "think" as.Santa : Hmm.. I thought, thought, thought and finally wrote "thunk".

10. SANTAS CROCODILE BOOTSsantaji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots. He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks its legs and angrily exclaims "76th and *again* barefeet!"


11. CHANDIGARH OR JALANDHAR
Santa was going to Chandigarh from pune by a air- india plane. He was alloted the middle seat of one of the 3-seats array. But as soon as Santa got into the plane, he sat on the window side seat which was actually for an old lady. After some time the old lady came and requested Santa to leave the side seat. But Santa told: "I want to see the view from the window and shall not leave".The old lady then complained to the air hostess. The air hostess came and requested Santa to leave that seat. But Santa was adament and did not leave.Then the air hostess went and told the asst capt. He also came and requested, but in vain. Finally the Captain came. He whispered something in the ears of Santa, and the Santa immedietly left the side seat and returned to the middle seat. Astonished, the airhostess and the asst. capt. asked the capt. what he told to Santa. Capt. replied: "nothing. I just told him that only the middle seats will go to Chandigarh.

12. DOUBLE DECKER BUS RIDE
Santa Singh and Banta Singh landed up in Bombay. They managed to get into a double- decker bus. Santa Singh somehow managed to get a bottom seat, But unfortunate Banta got pushed to the top. After a while when the rush is over, Santa went upstairs to see friend Bannta Singh. He met Banta in a bad condition clutching the seats in front with both hands, scared to death. He says, "Are Banta Singh! What the heck's goin' on? Why are you so scared ? I was enjoying my ride down there". Scared Banta replies. "Yeah, but you've got a *driver.* "


18. SANTA IN DESERT:
A santa, a japanese, and a britisher were lost in the desert. They were driving around in a Jeep when it broke down, because they had nothing else they decided to each take a piece of the Jeep as they continued their journey. The japanese took the radiator, the britisher took the seat, and the santa took the door.After a while of walking the britisher asked the japanese "I'm confused, why did you bring the radiator?" The japanese responded, "If I get thirsty, I can drink the fluid."Next the santa asked the britisher "Why did you bring the seat?" So the britisher said "If I get tired,I am not going to sit on the sand. I can sit on this comfortable seat."Finally the japanese asked the santa why he had chosen the door.The santa quickly responded to this question, "Well, when I get hot all I have to do is roll down the window."

19. DUMB SANTA
santa was tired of being santa and constantly being the subject of all those dumb santa jokes. He finally cut his hair. Elated he decided to take a drive through the country to celebrate his new life. Going past a field of sheep (he loved sheep) he stopped and asked the farmer "If i can guess howmany sheep in your flock, can I have one?"The farmer laughed and said "Sure, Sir" he gazed out for a few seconds and said "There's 1,973 sheep" The farmer said with Amazement "Damn Your're right! Go and pick one out".On his way back to his car he was stopped by the farmer yelling "Hey Sir! If I can guess your real identity can I have my dog back?".
20. SANTA IN DESRTED ISLAND:A santa, a japanese, and a britisher were shipwrecked on a deserted island.One day they came upon an old lamp buried in the sand. As they >brushed the sand from the lamp a Genie appeared and said "I'll give each of you one wish."The japanese said "I wish I was at home!" PUFF and he was gone!The britisher said "I wish I was home!" PUFF and he too was gone.The santa said "Boy is it lonely here! I wish my friends were back!""

21. SANTA ON TREE:
Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh were going in a jungle, Suddenly they saw one tiger comming towards them. To save themselves they climbed a tree and both sat on one branch. The tiger came under the tree and sat down. Santa told Banta " Yaar just to pass Time Why don't you sing some song" Banta Singh started to sing. After singing four songs Banta hanged upside down on the branch and then again sung four songs. After singing all the songs he Banta came back to his original position. Santa asked curiosly "Yaar Bantya, You sung four songs sitting in upright position and next four songs you sat upside down, Why did you do that?" Banta told " Yaar First four songs were from side A and the other four were from Side B"

22. SARD IN PLANE:
Elizabeth Taylor once boarded a plane. Everybody around greeted her. Since the plane was crowded she had difficulty in finding a seat. She saw our Sardar Balwinder Singh who was sitting next to a vacant seat.She went up to him and introduced herself saying in her cool sexy voice, "Hi, I am Elizabeth Taylor... Liz to you." Balwinder was bewildered but immediately responded, "Hi I am Balwinder .. Balls to you."

23.Santa's ferrari
Santa singh shows up at his friend Banta Singh's Place in a Brand New - Red Ferarri.Banta: Wow Banta, ke gaddi hai (What a car)Kithon laiye (where did you get it from)Santa:Main highway te lift mung reha se ... Gori Mem aaee te meine kende "want a ride Mr. Singh" I hopped in, and she took me to the woods. Once in woods she got outside took off clothes and said to me "Mr Singh. take anything"Banta is quite excited and asks "tu ke keeta Santa "Santa: Mian gaddi lai layee. (I took the car)Banta: Changa keeta kapde tenu fit bhi nahi aane se (good showyou wouldn't have fit into her clothes)

24.Santa Goes to heaven
Santa Singh was in the hospital, near death, so the family sent for his friend Banta. As Banta singh stood beside the bed, santa Singh's frail condition grew worse, and he motioned frantically for something to write on. Banta singh lovingly handed him a pen and piece of paper, and Santa used his last ounce of strength to scribble a note. Then he died. Banta singh thought it best not to look at the note just then, so he slipped it into his jacket pocket. Several days later, at the funeral, Banta singh was visting Santa's family. He realized that he was wearing the same jacket that he'd worn the day Santa died. "You know," he said, "Santa handed me a note just before he died. I haven't read it, but knowing Santa, I'm sure there's a word of inspiration there for us all." He unfolded the note and read aloud, "You're standing on my oxygen tube!"

25. MRS. SANTA SINGH:
Mrs. Banta Singh was in the habit of having long conversation on the telephone, sometimes going on over an hour. One day she hung up after 25 minutes."What is the matter today? asked her husband. "Today you had less than half an hour conversation on the phone." "I got a wrong number," replied Mrs. Banta Singh.

26. FOOLISH SANT JOKES:
Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restricted area. The judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defence. "They should not put up such misleading notices,"said Banta Singh." It said , "FINE FOR PARKING HERE."

Two Sardarjis were in conversation on the beach
:Sardarji 1 :Praaji , Ise 'beach' kyo kaheete hai ?Sardarji 2 : Tumhe nahe pata ?Sardarji 1 : Nahe pata.Sardarji 2 : Woh to Aasmaan aur Zameen ke beech mein hai esliye eesai beach kahete hai .

hey ppl to have more action..........wait 4 sum time

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astad